For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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