She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
