Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm just crazy horny about you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
