Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think a kid would responsible me up
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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