i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
