ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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