Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
