hotel room ftw
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
