I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
