so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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