he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
