he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
