Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
