i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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