We're facebook friends in real life
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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