she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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