That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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