so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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