I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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