So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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