forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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