Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
