I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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