i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
