had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
