either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
