do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
