there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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