i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
