I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
