I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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