this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i drank out of a bidet.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
