apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
