Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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