I wannas sexs uuuuu
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
so much tequila, so little girl.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
