i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
