its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
