Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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