i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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