saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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