How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
