They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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