he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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