So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
