I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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