Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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