i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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