Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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