Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
