we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They took my balls.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
