Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
