There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We smell like vodka and hangover
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