I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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